This thing called GRACE

I just want her to find Jesus to be worthy of all her affection and praise. But so often I act like I just want her to be "good". Ugh.
This week she hasn't lived up to my expectations. And I've been grouchy about it. And I've been the one in the wrong. Thankfully God's mercies are new every morning (turns out that's not just some nice verse to quote).

Last night I pulled out the book "Give Them Grace". It had been hard day number 2, or 3, and God hushed me up long enough to sit still on the couch and consider some things:
Do I want my child to simply repent of her unrighteousness, or also to repent of her good deeds (the behaviors her mom enforces/rewards) that are done in an attempt to earn God’s favor? Do I want her to understand that her good deeds are like filthy rags before a holy and perfect God, and that she needs His grace, and His righteousness manifested in her…that she can’t earn His love and grace, but simply accept it and bask in it. This past week, I’ve been trying over and over and over again to get her to be outwardly compliant, and have behavior that “honors God”, when all along those outward deeds can be deadly if she becomes convinced that her behavior is what God is most concerned about, rather than her heart. God is most concerned that my daughter fully sees what He is offering her: GRACE.
If she believes that Jesus is her Righteousness, that means that right now, if her heart is not wanting to submit to her parents and she is outwardly obeying or disobeying, and yet God sees in her heart she wants to be her own boss - her own works are unrighteous, but in Christ, she could right now have the righteousness of Jesus. That means even right now, while she is not wanting to submit to her mom or dad, she could have the record of Jesus Christ who always did it perfectly. THAT’S what I want her to understand. That’s the GOSPEL message, and that’s what frees us to want to obey ~ thankfulness for the grace offered to us!
What am I going for here as I’m raising her? Do I want her to despair? She already knows she is incapable of following all the rules. Do I communicate that she just needs to “try harder” – and thus watch her throw her hands in the air and quit cuz she knows she could never try hard enough, or do I communicate that she has no goodness of her own, but the good news is that God bestows His goodness (His righteousness) on us – and that is called grace.
I don’t want to be an angry mom who needs her kids to behave a certain way in order for her to relax because she thinks she sees evidence of God’s work. I don’t want my hope to be in my kids’ behavior, and outward appearance. I want my parenting to be based on HOPE, not fear. Hope in the grace offered to my kids (and to me) through Jesus. Hope – because Jesus Christ was good, in our place, and forgives us of our sins and bestows His good(righteousness) on us if we come to Him.
I am a weak parent, but I have a strong Savior. He uses everything, even my wrong parenting – to work in my children’s hearts and draw them to Himself.
Oh, children, I pray you would come to Jesus. He is far more beautiful than I have shown Him to be this past week...but thankfully He is revealing that to you...I will rest in that hope.