Adopting two kids under two is not the same as having two kids under two. I thought I knew this stuff. I thought I read enough books and attended enough seminars on adoption to understand kids from traumatic backgrounds...but sure enough, knowing about something is very different than experiencing it.
I used to think a lot of the talk on attachment/bonding with adopted kids was a bit exaggerated, and some of it was just plain pyscho-babble. Now - nearly four years after our first child arrived in our family, we are seeing that attachment/bonding for adopted children, especially children from hard places, is more about the stuff that most people (outside our family) don't see.
Our boys are barely out of the starting blocks on this journey of attachment. And Dave and I are just trying to figure this thing out and stay one step ahead of the hounds. Usually we don't see the signs of un-attachment until after we've pressed something too far, like having company to our house, or taking them to meet the staff team, or hanging out in a busy public place for too long, or me going to get my hair cut and not being home when they wake from naps.
Our house is the sixth residence they've had in five months. We are their fourth caretakers, since they were with their families of origin. WE know they are our sons and they are here to stay - but I wonder how deeply they know that yet.
Basically, I'm thankful for other adoptive blogs like this one and this one where the parents are far more detailed and transparent then I'm comfortable being...and we're learning from others who've been down this path. And I'm thankful for friends that are praying for us, really praying. You know who you are =-)
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