A year ago tomorrow

A year ago tomorrow, March 4th 2011, I was loading Sadie Lou into the mini-van. We had just dropped Ruby off at preschool, and my cell phone rang. Mom said that Jonny and Sarah were on their way to the hospital. Sarah, nearly 26 wks pregnant with their identical twin daughters, had been having back pains that were too severe to ignore. Something wasn't right. I heard my mom's words, and I had no air in my lungs. Within minutes I was carrying Sadie as fast as I could through the hospital parking lot, and we met my parents in a small waiting room. Time stood still. Time ticked by so slowly. Jonny came in. No heart beats on the monitor, he said. We're getting the ultrasound. Jonny left. Nobody could wake us from this worst-ever-dream. Jonny came back in. They're gone, he said. He cried. Mom and Dad held him. I whimpered - it was the first breath I had taken in hours. I called Dave. I called my friend Sarah H, who lost her son at full term. I wanted someone to say something that would make it all ok, that would make the doctor find life in my sister's womb. But nothing changed.

We all began the 24 hr vigil to await the girls' arrival. It was just their envelopes. They had already been flown to heaven, and their bodies arrived to their parents' arms, perfectly formed, beautiful, and asleep. They never knew pain, loss, disappointment, incompleteness.

A year ago tomorrow we learned we'd never know them alive on earth. But what a crazy reality it is to consider: these girls, these precious creations of the Lord, are more alive today, more complete, more joy-filled and satisfied than any of us here on earth.

Kionna, and Ember, we love you. We miss you e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y. We pray for your Mommy and Daddy, and your big brother, and your little sister (due this June) ~ we pray that God would comfort them, and draw them close. We pray they will experience even just a shadow of the glory and peace and joy that you already know firsthand. We honor your LIFE, and though we wish for more, we are grateful for the weeks/months we had you here with us.