I appreciate this blog. I haven't read her writing in a really long time. But this particular post was helpful in putting words to some of the things floating around on the white-capped waves of my heart these past several days.
All this news/press about the teenage boy that was killed in Florida: some people I know personally are questioning if it was racisim, and if there is even such a thing as systmeic racism. Ugh. And one thing I do know: injustice has happened. A kid is dead, and the personal responsible walked free...though now things are changing (maybe cuz of all the press?) Anyway, I haven't followed the details of this case - because frankly I don't take the time to read current event articles or watch the news since becoming a mother of four, so I don't want this post to be about that case in particular - other than to say that that incident may have been another trigger that's gotten me thinking about my little transracial family growing up in a White community, involved in a racially diverse ministry, loving a transcendent God, and trying to honor my children's ethnicity and balance that with seeing ourselves as sojourners and aliens in this present world...yadda yadda.
Tonight we had our adoption social worker come over for our post-placement visit. She has to observe us, and evaluate and document that the boys are well cared for, and are adjusting to our family and we are adjusting to them, etc. All of us were sitting together, looking the part of the big happy family (and admittedly we are) and she was asking probing questions about the boys' backgrounds: stuff that I don't think people should ask, but in this case it's appropriate. I gave Dave "the look" and he ushered the girls into their bedroom to read books so I could re-tell the boys' stories for the social worker without the girls in earshot. Hard stuff. But on the other hand, another reminder of God's intervention and mercy in our sons' lives. His redeeming of their pasts, and the hope for their futures.
As soon as our social worker got in the car and pulled out of the driveway, I took the girls over to the nearby college to pick up our dinner guest: a sweet college freshmen that we're getting to know and love. (This girl is one sharp cookie!) After dinner, Dave had the boys in the bathtub, and the girls sat on the floor coloring pictures for our friend. She and I sat at the table, lingering over our melting ice cream, and talking about more heavy stuff. She wasn't lamenting, or complaining, just answering questions, and stating facts: she shared candidly about the challenges of growing up as a Christian girl of color; what it's like to never get asked out on date because of her skin color (boys told her they'd like to, but their parents forbade it). She shared how the Black kids in her neighborhood saw her as "different" than them, and the White kids did too. She shared examples of personal and systemic racism. She shared about how her parents constantly told her of her beauty, encouraged her for her smarts, and built her confidence as much as they could, but that there is just no subsitute for hearing those things from your own peer group - and that as a African American girl, in a prodominantly White school (even a Christian school in the Midwest), that's just not common. As she shared, and as we talked about racism, my little girls were sitting ten feet away. Even though we were talking in vague terms and sometimes in semi-code and spelling words out instead of saying them- I didn't want my girls to hear. Yet, this is their/our reality. I was thinking about it: when will my kids first learn that people often get treated differently based in the color of their skin? Will they first learn this through first-hand experience? How will we help them to have a Biblical view of it? What is the Biblical reaction we want them to adopt as their own?
Tonight my prayer for my kids is going to be: "Oh Lord, capture their hearts. Draw my children to Yourself. Give them such a love for You, and for others, that they will see their own failings, and their own need for You, and empathize with others when they see others' need for You manifested in sinning against them. May they experience Your mercy and grace, so they can freely extend it to others, and others will be drawn to you by the love my kids show. And give them godly wisdom to stand boldly for justice, and to advocate for those without a voice..."
And then I'm going to pray, "Come Lord Jesus. Come. And bring us home."