Ugg

I snapped this pic yesterday - on day 3 of Joseph's most recent bout with attachment challenges.  Today he was back to "normal" (or what most people would know as normal).  Y'all, I think if Joseph could speak, he'd tell us "being a kid from hard places is HARD".  But he can't speak/reason that eloquently yet.  So instead he screams, and complains, he demands, he changes his mind 4 times in the matter of 10 seconds.  He doesn't know what he wants, but he knows that whatever is being offered to him is not quite right.  For example: this photo was taken while Joseph was asking me for his sippy cup, then pushing it away, then screaming at me because it was out of reach, then screaming at me because I gave it back to him, then pushing it away, then pounding the table and demanding for it back, then arching his back and kicking his feet against the bottom of the table top and screaming "cup! I cup!", then glaring at me as he rejects the cup again.
That scenario played itself out over and over for three days.  My shoulder muscles are still tense. 
"Mow mow"  He'd say, and point to his toy lawn mower, "Yes, Joseph, that's your mow mow" I'd respond in a syrupy-sweet voice.  "No mow mow!"  He'd screech.  "Oh, ok, not your mow mow"  I'd say.  "Yes, mow mow!"  He insist through frustrated tears... "Joseph, go get your mow mow" I'd say with a whisper soft voice, and he'd crawl off my lap and walk across the yard toward his toy.  But he'd get 10 feet away from me and freeze, panic, and run back to me with his arms out like he was about to take off flying, "Ugg!  Ugg!"  he'd say, so I'd hug him and pull him back into my lap.  And he'd soften, but then become agitated and start trying to climb all over me and not be able to get comfortable.
This sort of stuff shows up out of the blue.  We'll be trucking along in our tidy little family for days, and then pow out of the blue, Joseph gets a bug in his bonnet.
It's not easy.  Not easy for me, as I want to meet his needs and want to work through this with him, but feel tired and somewhat numb too.  And not easy for him - this little boy who has lived so much life in two years, and doesn't have the tools to process through the muck.  And not easy for his siblings, who grow tired of the loud cries, and the squeaky wheel getting the grease.  And not easy for Daddy who comes home to a weary wife, and wants to help his son but isn't sure when the kid needs tough love and when he needs to be cuddled.

But the one guy that doesn't seem to be taking this hard?  Joshua-posh.  This photo was taken about 30 minutes after the one above.  Joseph was standing at my bedroom door crying about something, and Joshua toddled up alongside his brother, and hugged him.  Joseph stopped mid-scream, and looked at me.  "Ugg, Ugg" he said with suprise in his voice.  "Yes, Honey-Boy, Joshua is hugging you."  I replied.  then my neurotic side kicked in.  "Stay right there, boys, I gotta grab the camera"  I said, as I ran to the kitchen.  And sure enough when I got back they were still standing right there =-)  Yep... gotta capture these moments.  All of them. Someday, Lord willing, even days like this past week will be a distant memory.