At this time last year...

Every day I think about "this time last year".  At this time last year, I'd go to bed with my laptop on the floor next to me.  I'd leave it on and open, and the fan on the hard drive would whur all night long trying to keep it cool.  I'd sneak out of bed carefully to check my email at 1am, 3am, 3:20am, 4:30am, 5am... every night, in the hopes of receiving an email from our Ugandan adoption lawyer that would tell us we'd been assigned a court date.  At this time last year, I had one photo of my boys that I'd printed off the computer.  It was grainy and hard to distinguish much detail of their faces - but it was precious to me.  The photo was of the two boys sitting on a couch side by side.  Joshua was holding someone's cell phone and Joseph was peering at it and leaning in to grab it away.  I showed that photo to anyone who appeared the least bit interested in our boys.
At this time last year, I started following a blog of a particular adoptive family in Uganda.  They had helpful hints for packing, and sweet little anecdotes about life over there.  They had been there for several weeks, with court delays, etc.  And then I read that they passed through the court system and just had one last step before coming home: visa from the U.S. Embassy.  And then I read: they were denied a visa.
Gulp.  I lost my breath.  What just happened?  They had obtained legal guardianship of this little child, and had this child in their family for several weeks, and now were not allowed to bring her back to the U.S.
Thousands of people in bloggy world started praying for this family.  I did too.  A lot.
And I also started to get nervous about our own boys' adoption cases.  Some of the details of our boys' situations were very similar to this child on the blog that had just been denied a visa.  What IF...?
And Dave and I tried to push that out of our heads, but we also knew that nothing was really certain, and no one could guarantee that we'd be flying to Uganda, and then returning home to the U.S. with these two little boys that we were already loving from afar.  And I cried a lot, and I searched blogs and government websites, and anything I could to prepare us for the journey ahead.  And I told God that this journey belonged to Him.  And  I swallowed hard, and tried to be brave.
At this time last year.